April, 1 2018
A midlife blessing is the release of many outdated beliefs, which leaves room for new revelations. As our hormones change, we reform our psychological perspective. A surprising midlife shift of my own was in my attitude about working with children.
When I was younger I believed that I would not be taken seriously in pediatric work if I did not have kids of my own, so while I worked on clients’ kids with good results, I kept quiet about it. I also watched others work with kids in an effusive way that I could never emulate. I am a mellow, contemplative person who loves people, but I thought I was not bubbly enough for kids.
Once my hormones shifted into menopause I cared less about what other people thought, or about being like them or in subtly dissmissing my own talents. Instead I focused more on honoring my essential nature and developing what I do best to contribute to the community.
The truth is that I have a lot of assets that help me work effectively with kids: I am a steady and calm person. I understand the effects of shock and trauma on the body, and I have highly sensitive palpation skills. CranioSacral Therapy (CST) is fantastic for kids and I’ve been practicing it for over twenty years. Mothers report that after their CST sessions their babies are nursing better, sleeping more peacefully, and have less digestive problems.
The other surprise is that once I opened up to working more with kids, this deep sense of my inner grandmother emerged. Despite the fact that I am not a physical mother or grandmother, these inherent feminine gifts are still within me. I never realized how deeply I would care about the younger ones coming up in the world and feel how important and joyous it is to support families. Anthropologists talk about how the human race survived so successfully because of grandmothers, and I am starting to feel and embrace that power in my own blood and bones.
So, if you read about my adventures in working with kids, pregnant moms, and nursing babies and wonder if I’m no longer focusing on midlife women, please know that it all fits into my essential mission of supporting women’s health with diverse modalities while acknowledging the gifts of our different developmental ages.
Hi Anasuya!
Beautiful article and intro email to it. I have experienced something similar… this connection to babies and young people, despite having no children. It has been interesting to feel how deeply I care about these next generations! I’m loving it.
Your words beautifully express several deep issues here. Glad you wrote about this!
Hi Teresa, It’s great to hear that you feel similarly. I remember sitting next to you in Functional Endocrinology almost a decade ago! Our instructor did mention mental changes with aging hormone levels but didn’t give a hint as to the benefits and depth of meaning that may emerge. The next generations are lucky to have your support.
beautiful revelation, beautiful you. helps me embrace (just a tiny little bit more) my own inner grandmother. i don’t have children, and i believe that gives me more maternal energy to love more clients.
Thanks, Lela. I think we may have that maternal energy independent of having kids or not and there are many ways of expressing it. I have benefited from your Strengths coaching and found our conversations very nourishing and caring. Happy to have been on the receiving end of your maternal instinct! 😉
very beautiful anasuya!
I am in the same situation, and I have those exact same feelings!
Thanks, Kathryn, It’s good to know I’m not the only one!